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- ≡ BOOKS, Page 68The Art of the Boast
-
-
- By MARGARET CARLSON
-
- TRUMP: SURVIVING AT THE TOP
- by Donald J. Trump with Charles Leerhsen
- Random House; 236 pages; $21.95
-
-
- Inside every fat ego there must be a thin, self-revealing
- book struggling to get out. Why else would Random House have
- given a large pile of money to a self-promoting, vulgar real
- estate developer to recount how great it is to be him? His
- first book had a slight story line. No one wheedled bigger
- loans or built gaudier buildings on a shoeshine and a smirk
- than the swaggering kid from Queens.
-
- But the sequel, written with Newsweek senior writer Charles
- Leerhsen, coming as it does at a time of financial and marital
- meltdown, is all aimless anecdotes in which the only point is
- to make Donald Trump look good and to avoid answering important
- questions like: Was it really Ivana's idea to start the "the
- Donald" business? Just how much in hock is the Donald,
- Brazil-like or kneecap-breaking hock? Was Ivana's plastic
- surgeon under the impression that she was entering the Witness
- Protection Program?
-
- Pages are spent explaining in number-crunching detail why
- Trump didn't pay too much for the Plaza or the Trump Shuttle,
- and why it wasn't loony to go into competition with himself by
- building the Taj Mahal just as Atlantic City gambling was
- peaking. He tries to pass off his Las Vegas, Eurotrash tastes
- as sophisticated (he once compared the garish murals on his
- ceiling to the Sistine Chapel) and an attitude as a philosophy.
- "Momentum, when you think about it, is what surviving at the
- top is all about." Imagine if he didn't think about it.
-
- While he says many famous people want to pal around with
- him, he chooses to spend much of his spare time with his
- "friend" Mike Tyson, the fighter who behaves as if he has taken
- one too many punches to the head. He identifies with Howard
- Hughes, of the long fingernails and hotel-as-booby-hatch, who
- shared Trump's aversion to germs ("I'm constantly washing my
- hands"). His heroes are Richard Nixon (for being a real killer
- and giving Barbara Walters the brush-off) and Saudi Arabian
- arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi. A great achievement was whomping
- his good friend Merv Griffin, "who never built anything bigger
- than a Wheel of Fortune set" but who foolishly thought he could
- take on the guys with the huge Erector sets. Trump says he
- worries about his three kids, which seems to mean squeezing them
- into his busy schedule -- even when they don't have an
- appointment with him.
-
- He also settles scores with "some jerks with word
- processors," at TIME and the Village Voice, as well as with
- Frank Sinatra (for calling Ivana and his own wife "the scum of
- the earth"), the late, libel-proof editor Malcolm Forbes (for
- cutting Trump off the Forbes' 400 list after Trump had kicked
- Forbes and his young boy companions out of the Plaza's Oak
- Bar), and Leona Helmsley (a bully perhaps too much like Trump
- himself).
-
- In the most self-serving chapter, Trump is outraged that the
- breakup of a couple with His and Her publicists, a couple
- fighting over custody of the gossip columnists with vigor
- usually reserved for fighting over the children, should be
- chronicled in the press. Marriage is just another deal, and
- shorting it with a prenuptial agreement was a kindness really,
- a way of looking after his employees who might not get paid if
- a scorned wife were someday to take him to the cleaners.
-
- He makes it clear "for the sake of fairness" that the
- separation is his idea and that Ivana never stopped loving him.
- Next to him, the grasping, brassy co-conspirator turned victim
- seems sympathetic, undergoing facial perestroika only to end
- up with pouty lips and thickened eyebrows that left her looking
- curiously like Donald in drag, a female Baby Huey. He certainly
- wouldn't have brought up Ivana's "heavy emotional baggage" or
- that mysterious previous marriage of hers if the New York Post
- hadn't dredged it all up first. No one should think for a
- minute that it was "the beautiful young actress" Marla Maples
- who broke up his marriage or "the unbelievable array of women"
- Trump finds at his feet. Not at all. It was just that he and
- Ivana had grown apart, and now he had to get on with the rest
- of his life. Even Oprah would blush.
-
- Trump's last chapter is a "modest proposal" for restoring
- America to its former glory "in a matter of months" by a
- blue-ribbon coup undertaken by a group of cowboy businessmen
- like himself who would "be vested with as much authority as our
- Constitution would permit." The power to levy taxes, declare
- war -- he doesn't enumerate.
-
- He hasn't ruled out democratic means, and if he runs for
- office, it will be on a platform consisting of the death
- penalty and a 20% surtax on Japanese imports; or maybe it's a
- platform of death penalty for the Japanese. It's hard to tell,
- he's so mad at them for making those cars Americans keep buying
- instead of Buicks. Trump once said he was too busy to run for
- President, but who knows now? Restructuring debt leaves a man
- with a lot of time on his hands. George Bush may be the only
- person with any reason to read this book.
-
-
- ____________________________________________________________
- TRUMP SPEAK
-
-
- A tally of the Donald's favorite words in his new book:
-
- - Great/greater/greatest: 118 times -
- Big/bigger/biggest: 69 times - Success/successes/successful:
- 52 times - Huge: 24 times
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